In This Fallen World

Image via WikipediaIt is inexplicable how the body resists what is just.
Three good days, and two days pushing against the rift.
And the rift is within. I am staring at my destiny, and it is in clear sight.
For once, it is in clear sight.
But, here comes another night.
Where I supt with demons that hate any gain.
I feel constraints and restraints from every side.
And, I wonder if it is myself, Or a silent siege, Or the effect of everything
played in the airwaves. The Prince of the air pulls us all to do his will.

I think I'll plug in another worship song.

"I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate." -Romans 7:15

Sunday, December 18, 2011 - Learning

Image via Wikipedia

Personal development is an unending road.

The strangest thing I have learned so far is that people generally become how you treat them. The most basic thing that I learned is that learning daily and pressing daily to correct your current thought processes is the only way to create better results. I could not really understand this process before. I did not take into account that we forget. If the Pimsleur process could be used to instill the laws of God rather than just language. That would be powerful. That is a worthy undertaking.

I think I can

I think I can love like I've never been hurt, again
I think that I can start like I've never lost
work like I've never failed

It starts with forgiveness
I'll forgive myself and forget
I'm not perfect

I'll live like there is every possibility of reaching my dreams.
beats the alternative

...

My friend loves me despite my shell
makes me cry
my friend praises me despite my busy state
makes me feel unworthy
my friend says I love you,
I realize
it is everything to be accepted in the beloved.

...

I think I can write poetry
or anything else I can conceive
even though I'm not sure I like this poem
I can see it even through black eyes
and musical notes I could never produce
I am making just what I should be making
praise

...

Praise to Jehovah
I still have time
I just saw a picture of Steve Jobs
Why God why?!!!
Intuition, genius, nothing matters when you die
unless you leave a legacy
reach people
....

Use your net to catch the fish
or use it for safety when you fall
or use it as a boundary to guard from outside attacks
...or be the net maker

Written while listening to Delirious - Inside, Outside

Thank You Kern

(After listening to Kern for 3 hours and failing at getting into his Operation Total Freedom class)

So, all is not lost.
After all, to fear is gain,
when it's only a game,
'cause then its excitement.

Blood and nerves twitching.
Though I am itching to go forward,
I'm stuck, or am I?

The words from my coach,
I'll embrace cause I'm broke
like she was
and that loan isn't coming anytime soon

"I started on a failure equation."

The Recovery

My noisy fingers are my prayers now
Feels like being dropped off at college
all over again
Except that the institution is my mind
and the books have eyes, legs, mouths

They're speaking to me
And you're not.
Will I graduate
I thank you for forgiveness
and for letting me foul up and get up again

But, I cannot figure out how much of this has to do with
faith in myself
and faith in You
So, my fingers are writing my prayers now
My mind is shut down except for the words of
Living epistles

I see now courage is required
even for the simplest thing
With practice we lose alarm
But, this not what we were meant to do
We were meant to be
still
We were meant to test the limits of our strength
Is that still the purpose?